Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Resolutions are not for everyone...

Thinking hard on 2008, I realize that the boldest statement I "resolved" was to keep from losing my family during my infrequent cleaning jags. "Lemme 'splain...mmm...iz too moch...lemme summp" (...love that movie...) Hey, if you're looking for coherent musings, try Ben Stiller, 'kay?!

Hmm...I realize most of you don't go to clean your homes with a mining cap, wading boots and bobcat, but still...I try. Oh sure, like I'm the only one who when company comes, throws everything I've ever accumulated into my bedroom, closes/wedges the door shut and prays the cat got out in time. I've heard from my grandmother that if you end the year with your house clean, it will stay clean all the following year. But she never mentioned you have to maintain it! Ugh!

Hey, I use the rake to clean the living room...a plunger to put towels in the linen closet, push all the junk mail behind the couch...my refrigerator gets power washed to kill the leftovers...and the mice are almost all gone (well, the one-eyed ones are slow) so I AM trying to keep up. I can't help it if Dow Chemical keeps calling me to ask what iz that SMELL?!

Sigh....I digress.....

I did, however, start earlier this year with recycling; I only waited until Thanksgiving. Now my son throws me vicious looks that would kill a Klingon in his battle cruiser as he attempts to walk out the door with trash AND recyclables. Yeah, me. And don't think my daughters are immune to the slave trade. If you ask them, I am now the proud owner of a scullery maid and a dishwasher on two legs...Go me. My oldest rolls her eyes so hard, I'm afraid they'll hit the window and the exasperated sighs could wake the dead...I used to think she read Mommy Dearest...I'm starting to wonder if she had a hand in writing it...

But as to resolutions- I firmly resolve to-

  • Quit misplacing the kids in their bedrooms (I AM getting better at following the muffled sounds) Hey, my insurance won't cover me if I clean their rooms- something about hazardous activities...
  • Chip out the cat's dishes more than one a week (She walks on my face at night as a Thank You)
  • Use better communication skills than, "You heal faster than me...!" when tossing a Chem gear wearin' kid into the bathroom whilst the litter box is snarling, daring me to touch it...
  • Pointing to the lovingly embroidered "Clean enough to be healthy, Dirty enough to be happy" pillow to ease the look of abject horror that's plainly showing on my guest's faces (So? The couch moves and whimpers... Doesn't yours? Yes, I know where my kids are!)
  • Cleaning my kitchen without the bullwhip and C-4.
  • NOT wait until we're all wearing newspaper before thinking of the laundry.
  • Blogging more and stop using the parentheses and italics functions less...riiiiiight...
Happy New Year to All!